Fight Your Friends
It's the only way to know who your real homies are
There is a level of friendship that you cannot attain without working through conflict.
I have this homie named Calvin. We were best buds in my first year of college, spending a lot of time together talking, going on late-night walks, and getting into freshmen mischief. I went through a lot of financial hardship around this time, and Calvin, having recently received a windfall, was willing to help me pay off my debts if I promised to pay him back. While I was immensely grateful for his kindness, I did not realize the stress that owing money to one of your closest friends can cause. We moved in together after our first year, and I began to realize that owing money to Calvin was causing me to relinquish control to him in almost all decisions we made. We ended up growing apart, and even after I paid him back, I came to resent him. About a year ago we reconnected, talked through our issues and immaturity 3 years ago, and now have a love and respect that couldn’t have existed without working through these problems; There is a kinship that comes from having grown with someone.
Friends are a weird kind of relationship because there is no formality that dictates how you should act towards them. There are things expected of you in familial and romantic relationships, often forcing you to figure out problems you have, but friendships don’t have that same social mechanism. This often results in us moving on and finding new friends when issues surface, rather than pushing through the adversity. The strength of your relationships is often shown, not in the good times, but in the bad times, so unless you are willing to have those tough conversations, it is hard to know just how strong a bond you really have.
The past four years have easily been the most formative of my life. I’ve discovered new facets to my character, done a lot of work to improve who I am, and most importantly, have met a tribe of homies who I have grown with and hope to keep in my life forever. I’m so thankful for the people I’ve been blessed with and hope that the tough times that are bound to come will bring us closer.
There is a level of friendship that you cannot attain without working through conflict.